Internet Tears Horror Dating Profile To Shreds

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[–] DietCokehead1 26 points (+27|-1) 2 hours ago 

Personality: Diva

Nope Nope Nope.

 

 

[–] Foralltoosee 25 points (+25|-0) 1.9 hours ago 

“I spent my 20’s on my back and dated some do nothing druggie because he was a ‘bad boy’. I got a lot of attention because I was willing to put out, so I have an undeserved sense of value. I’m not just looking to hook up, but totally will without a second thought. If you want to date me keep in mind I’m really used goods and I’m selfish and vain. I will lose my shot from time to time, and regardless of what you’ve done, I’ll blame you. I think I’m quirky when really I’m just out of my mind.”

 

 

[–] TheTrigger 0 points (+0|-0) 5 minutes ago 

↑bitch whisperer, right here

 

 

[–] bfriend13 25 points (+25|-0) 2.2 hours ago 

She’s ridden too many Alpha males to get the one she wants now, at least for a long term relationship.

 

 

[–] voteforfreedom 22 points (+22|-0) 2.1 hours ago  (edited 2 hours ago)

10 years ago profile: Slap me, choke me, love me, hate me…I don’t care if you are weird, just tell me how much 15% is on the tab so somebody does not post about me on MySpace. I have had 20 lovers and 20 abortions, whho givvvve a fuck…righht? HEYYY I LOVE deepsix pack chopra, love non farty mexican joints and will drink you under the table and swallow your spunk if you are 60-85 and will give me money to fix my face and get me a permanent makeup kit tattoo

Today profile: I love fit faggots with money that want an instagram fake wife to get your coveted big score account. I like starbucks and big cock bucks…but I won’t tell you until date #3 when you bring me home to your mansion and I can file sexual assault charges…I need coin. LOL Be perfect but a faggot, cause my orifices need surgery and viagra is a thing YIKES…can’t fix my hole sphhyncters (is that a thing? my plastic doctor says it is?? LOL)…please love me but pay me and don’t touch me…but appear in my instagramofmeth account cause when I OD during a saouthy arabian / israhhell gangbang, I don’t want people to judgeded me

 

 

[–] Gorillion 5 points (+5|-0) 53 minutes ago  (edited 51 minutes ago)

Turning 30 = 90% of her dating market value is suddenly gone. Women like this age like gaming consoles. The newer models have arrived and displaced her.

Honestly, I think her best outlook is being a professional beard like you say. That marketing degree will certainly put her on the radar.

 

 

[–] voteforfreedom 0 points (+0|-0) 43 minutes ago  (edited 41 minutes ago)

Praise you

Our sick new fucking reality

She does not need make up or even eyebrow tattoos…silicone tits or a smile a plastic surgeon dreamed up from a childhood cartoon.

All she should have understood back in the days = you are not a piece of ass for sale with a <good by date>

We cannot compete as sexual objects for the morally and financially sold out

If I sold myself up the river with only my orifices as a pleasure, I need to accept to become a madame (sell out the next generation) or move to make humanity something more than the nightmare I woke up to for ever more

I hate when good ideas are met by rich people who say that without their money, dreams are never more…mother fucker, because I am poor, dreams will live on for ever more

 

 

[–] antiliberalsociety 12 points (+13|-1) 1.6 hours ago 

Her husband is gonna slap the shit out of her when he finds that on her phone

 

 

[–] iBottomOutMidgets 12 points (+13|-1) 2 hours ago  (edited 2 hours ago)

Jesus, western sluts are so delusional.

 

 

[–] agilemittens 11 points (+11|-0) 1.5 hours ago 

As an online dater in the northern Alberta area I can honestly say this represents way too large of a proportion of the women around here. The joke will be when they get their wrinkles and haven’t found the domineering bodybuilder poet of their dreams and have to drop the fuck out of their standards.

 

 

[–] townbike 6 points (+6|-0) 1.1 hours ago 

domineering bodybuilder poet of their dreams

this is fuckin great

 

 

[–] HamsterSlayer 10 points (+10|-0) 1.9 hours ago 

I’m in my mid-20’s and if this is my future I may as well give up now.

 

 

[–] piratse 7 points (+7|-0) 1.7 hours ago  (edited 1.7 hours ago)

Nah, just find women who were busy in college. I met my current GF at 29. She was completeing a doctorate and trying to work to a comfortable level within the hospital, so she didn’t date a lot. There are LESS normal women at that age, but it’s not impossible. Just don’t fall for profiles like this because they are hot, and NEVER EVER EVER meet a girl that doesn’t have full body shots or only has pictures where they are always with friends and never say which on they are.

 

 

[–] BentAxel 4 points (+4|-0) 1.6 hours ago 

You’re just trying to find a flower in a pile of shit. It happens but you sure ain’t gonna put that flower on your lapel are you. You use it, admire it, smell it then toss it.

You want the flowers from the garden. Where they were feed healthy vitamins, live in a sustainable environment and wish to thrive.

 

 

[–] Goater 1 points (+1|-0) 1.5 hours ago 

Same here bro, don’t despair, you just need a change of attitude.

Thought that way for almost two years, after a breakup tried to find a good girl, failed pretty hard due to my predilection for bad bitches.

Started treating girls as disposable until proven otherwise, not only did it lead to some great times but being less attached to the outcome lead to a healthier mental state for me and greater success in dating girls with better personalities and looks.

Forget the dream man it’s just a Hollywood fairytale, unless you’re going for traditionally raised girls, which comes with it’s own set of problems, you’re chance of finding ‘the one’ is minimal at best.

 

 

[–] greycloud 0 points (+0|-0) 1 minute ago 

want some dirty rotten black pill advice? i got a solution for you, it is highly unethical. get together with one of your friends, you will both need around 70 thousand dollars. now go get a surrogate, pick out an egg donor, pick out a sperm donor, get IVF with PGS and select for a pretty baby girl, your friend does the same. now you both raise these girls in an indoctrinating fashion with homeschooling. you are each raising each other’s future wife. you have their entire childhood to brainwash them into believing you are the perfect person above all others.

religion is brainwashing, western education is brainwashing, any belief system is brainwashing. its obviously morally acceptable to brainwash people. what isn’t morally acceptable is to find a way around the monopoly that society has placed around the mating game. but you don’t have to play by someone else’s rules.

 

 

[–] collegetoker 8 points (+8|-0) 1.3 hours ago 

That synopsis is pretty arrogant for someone who is 30 and is in a long term relationship with her cat.

 

 

[–] TheGreatHobo 8 points (+9|-1) 1.5 hours ago 

Arrogant bitch like this is created by fat women… Most women are gross fat assets. The few remaining thin women get so much attention they end up ruined like movie stars. Then they hit the wall and try to trap some dude who made some money.

 

 

[–] solar_flare 7 points (+7|-0) 1.3 hours ago 

Seems like another one trying to settle down after she’s had enough of the cock carousel. Nope, you’re used up. Only betas and bad guys will want you now.

Also, see: http://en.kingswiki.com/wiki/Thousand_cock_stare

 

 

[–] chicken_nugget 7 points (+9|-2) 1.6 hours ago 

I’m trying to understand here, while her being single and 30 would be an absolutely turn off already, what else is it to it? Is it because she’s listing her basic traits any average 21-40 year old may have as if she’s special? (specifically the cooking thing; I know there are many millennials that don’t know how to cook, but I had in law siblings making full near gourmet meals by the age of like 16… Like many others, but she lists it as if nobody knows cooking for more than yourself is fun or good). The whole alpha male thing; really? Wtf? She wants a male to act like a male.

Somebody please explain this further to me in detail a lot of this is flying over my head.

 

 

[–] i-am-me 5 points (+7|-2) 1 hour ago 

Nothing wrong with wanting an alpha male. The problem is her personality. Telling short men to not even try, blatantly claiming that she is brains plus beauty, telling them to give up after she doesn’t respond to five messages (How about some common courtesy? Also implying that she is soooo in demand). Then there’s the emoji/lol abuse, which is excessive and immature looking.

 

 

[–] chicken_nugget 4 points (+4|-0) 1 hour ago 

One of the first things I noticed is that the profile does seem to fit that of a 15 year old.

 

 

[–] txp33 4 points (+4|-0) 1.1 hours ago 

Personality: Diva

 

 

[–] greycloud 2 points (+3|-1) 1.2 hours ago 

if she wants an alpha male, she should be looking between the ages of 50 and 60. alpha men can get much younger women who are equally or more talented. she is shopping way above her value.

 

 

[–] gauss_markov 4 points (+4|-0) 55 minutes ago 

i.e. A 30 year-old alpha male will find a 20 year-old diva. A 50 year-old alpha male might settle for a 30 year-old diva, but honestly would probably be chasing the 20 year-old as well. This woman is riding the tail end of her hotness, and in less than 5 years she’ll have to settle for like a 35 year-old beta cuck.

1 reply

 

 

[–] AmaleksHairyAss -3 points (+2|-5) 1.3 hours ago 

People who upvoated this probably think she’s demanding more than she’s worth. Too many goats are embittered.

 

 

[–] chicken_nugget 0 points (+2|-2) 1.2 hours ago 

She seems to be demanding very little, given that it’s a website it seems she’s just listing her preferences. While it may be assumed she’s looking for money, she doesn’t even ask that the guy have a car (unless I missed that, too). The only thing I find stupid is the whole work out thing, most people can get into the rhythm of working out it just takes effort. It’s like she’s demanding a perfect human being, not one that she can grow with.. at that point she is demanding far more than she’s worth, far more than anybody’s worth really, and tbh that’s the biggest warning sign. She doesn’t want somebody to grow with, to learn to love, she wants somebody who is already what she wants and its most likely why her previous relationships failed.

1 reply

 

 

[–] That_VoiceOver_Guy 7 points (+7|-0) 1.7 hours ago 

She 45, if she’s a day.

 

 

[–] Morbo 5 points (+5|-0) 1.5 hours ago 

Salutations from reality.

Your profile conveys all the necessary facts and information that any half-witted man should know about you. The childish use of “lol” and excessive parenthetical asides indicate you lack any depth of thought and writing prowess. Your self ascribed traits, which you falsely attribute as coming from your friends, portray you as a generic character composed solely of cliches and general human characteristics. The hobbies you enjoy are simply pedestrian chores that do not endear any charm, creativity or genuine interest outside of your commonplace peers. Beauty and brains? Models are the defacto standard for false representation in beauty and working in marketing indicates you have a propensity to lie and exaggerate for gain while appealing to vanity or ignorance in the public. Intelligence may attract you but clearly you are not intelligent as it shows through in your writing ability. You long for a dominant alpha man but have clearly passed your prime. Since you wasted your youth and innocence playing with men for attention, money and status, alpha males will pass over you and seek out younger more attractive women who are not used up physically. Your superficiality and selfish requirements put you squarely in the high maintenance category yet you bring little to the table for your would be suitor. No man meeting your criteria will settle for the highest mileage used vehicle on the outdoor lot when he can easily afford the latest model exotic sports car in the glass showroom. Chemistry only works properly when you have fresh reagents and yours have been used and reused too many times. Your time is worth little so do enjoy being single with your cat.

Signed,

All Men

 

 

[–] chicken_nugget 0 points (+0|-0) 1 hour ago 

Would you consider ones ability to write, or convey a message as a whole skillfully as the first absolute signs of intelligence?

 

 

[–] gauss_markov 3 points (+3|-0) 53 minutes ago 

No, it just means you’ve had a lot of practice writing or communicating. I’ve found real estate agents and sales people are the best communicators but not necessarily the most intelligent. I am sure there are plenty of geniuses who write at a fairly basic level, since writing itself is a skill that must be learned and practiced.

1 reply

 

 

[–] Morbo 0 points (+0|-0) 2 minutes ago 

Absolutely. The manner in which a person writes and the words they use speak volumes on their thought processes and methods which in turn reveals depth of intelligence. It is not a perfect indicator by any means but in general it is precise enough to make assumptions on. We subconsciously measure people through their writing and speaking abilities to determine credibility, trustworthiness and capability. It has become a vital social tool for determining where we rank people in everyday life.

 

 

[–] Gorillion 0 points (+0|-0) 39 minutes ago 

Put it this way, I read all of Morbo’s text. I didn’t read all of hers. I just made a “blah blah blah” motion with my hand and skipped ahead.

 

 

[–] illuminatedwax 4 points (+4|-0) 58 minutes ago 

She’ll break out the mulatto kid on the 4th date. And tell you about how smart he is and he’s nothing like his dad. Who’s in jail, for now.

 

 

[–] i-am-me 4 points (+4|-0) 1.6 hours ago 

Lord. Delusional.

 

 

[–] 1Sorry_SOB 2 points (+2|-0) 26 minutes ago 

I love you people. Goats never disappoint

 

 

[–] JimBulloosheet 2 points (+2|-0) 51 minutes ago 

Generic whore. A dime a dozen.

 

 

[–] ObscureReference 2 points (+2|-0) 1.3 hours ago 

She is doing a service to the people who might be interested.

 

 

[–] Empire_of_the_mind 1 points (+1|-0) 38 minutes ago 

This is a Long Island girl no doubt. I guarantee she lives with her parents.

 

 

[–] whydoismellbacon 1 points (+1|-0) 39 minutes ago 

She had me saying nope at “cats”.

 

 

[–] nogarbagetrashonly 1 points (+2|-1) 1.3 hours ago 

hahahaha is funny yes

 

 

[–] ginganinja 0 points (+0|-0) 6 minutes ago 

my friends would say that I’m hilarious, witty, fun, entertaining, smart, loyal, loving, and genuine.

Well, yeah, otherwise, they wouldn’t be your friends.

 

 

[–] culofiesta 0 points (+0|-0) 36 minutes ago 

Pets: Cat

Color me shocked.

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